[ guys I’m literally having a meltdown right now because my german teacher just basically handed me the opportunity to go on the passau program next year from sept. to july but it’s basically “here’s a fantastic opportunity for you, it’ll only cost your relationship!!!” so now I’m freaking out because I love my boyfriend very much and I sort of completely want to marry him but I’m afraid that a year apart will tear us apart and I just can’t right now.
I know you’re supposed to be selfish about these decisions, and I know I could make it ten months because I’m the less emotionally needy one… but now I’m questioning whether or not that’s actually true because maybe I really do need to be near him and whether or not I’ll be able to actually deal with it on top of the culture shock.
so yeah I basically can’t stop crying because this is a great opportunity and I shouldn’t hesitate but I am and I don’t even know if I’m ready for a year away in a different country speaking a different language.
I’m just really scared and confused. sorry, you guys shouldn’t even have to hear this. ]
[ went to a beer show for work and am now incredibly drunk and I think our chef now has a crush on me because I dressed up and I’m gonna have to worry about replies later and WHY ISN’T MY BOYFRIEND HERE WHEN I DRINK I JUST LIKE CUDDLES OK. ]
[ dfjksldj EXHAUSTED. it’s time for me to hit the hay. love you guys, though. truly madly deeply. ]
[ -casually sings a song about how irregular German verbs can go fuck themselves wooooo- ]
[ for a two credit class, I sure have to make a whole hell of a lot of presentations in my GERM305. all in german, with correct syntax. the things I do for my minor. I’d better get that paid tutoring gig next fall. ]
[ guys I can’t even remember my threads anymore what the heck is this ARE THOSE MY ONLY TWO
help me and also if you want to rp let me know because I swear I’m going to be more active because this blog is home and I would really like to know where my life gets off being so busy CAN’T WAIT UNTIL I’M NOT IN SCHOOL THIS SUMMER and am just working so that clears up half my schedule.
speaking of, pretty sure boyfriend and I just found a place to stay for two and a half months before we start the lease on the new apartment with our roommates on Sept 1st. this is really good because I had no idea where we were going to live starting mid-June otherwise. RANDOM LIFE FACTS NOBODY CARES ABOUT.
goodnight! if I’m missing anything orrrr if you want to start something new or whatever, just let me know. you know how to reach me! ]
sCREAMING BECAUSE THE SPOKANE CIVIC THEATER ARE DOING LES MIS AUDITIONS IN TWO MONTHS AND I AM GOING TO AUDITION AND FJAKSLDJFKSLJD
ok as much as I want to stay up and do this all night I just started feeling like crap about half an hour ago headache stomach hurts just ugh what is this so I really think it would be a good idea for me to go to bed since I work in the morning
BUT I WILL BE BACK TOMORROW <333
